The pivotal moment came when I stepped onto a scale and saw an unhealthy number staring back at me. Looking back, I now realize that I ignored previous warning signs of dis-ease in my body. Some of the previous indicators were severe allergic sinus symptoms, chronic headaches, IBS, painful cystic acne and other major skin eruptions that indeed interrupted my life and function. I now know that these were signs of overload from of some difficult circumstances, repressed childhood traumas, multiple serious abdominal surgeries and many accumulated stressors that naturally come from raising your self, a family, and growing a small business. Many relatable stressors as well as many wonderful stressors are in the mix. That number on the scale shook me. It caused me to stop. I really felt my thinness, in my frame. I heard echoes of words spoken to me about my size: "You look so thin," "I can wrap my arms around you twice," and "Have you been sick?" I made a decision. It was time to turn the narrative around.
I've grown through a mindful movement diet, a solid eating diet, regular check-ins for nervous system and mental health, and a practice of reading and learning to balance my body, my mind and my spirit. I was awoken to the idea that I needed to look more closely at how stress was showing up in my physical body. As I worked through the process, I learned to press through layers of resistance gradually, but with consistency. Embracing curiosity and vulnerability helps, too. Under the About Tab, see About Lisa (read evolution of a Therapeutic Movement Coach), you will learn more about how my professional education and development has shaped my movement coaching. The following is my testimony of the benefits of intentional and therapeutic movement from practicing as a student.
Life often keeps us caught in its routine and need to be busy. It is easy to remain unaware of its impact until a moment of revelation. My ‘on the scale moment’ was my revelation. I saw below the surface more clearly. On the surface I was presenting as functional and ‘successful’ since I was balancing a part time job, a teaching schedule, a household, a marriage and parenting 4 children and 2 furry ones. I also pushed through major family transitions that moved our family from Lancaster, PA to 2 temporary homes in Guadalajara, Mexico, and then back to US soil. In reality I was surviving, but it meant living in survival mode. The mode was gifted to me as a birth right to have in times of true danger or threat. I finally noticed parts of it were constantly turned on and other parts turned off. It is like having the brakes fully on and the gas pedal pressed down at the same time. It indeed served me at times, but I noticed it now (over) served me, and I (my nervous system in particular) was hitting a breaking point.
My journey towards healing involved a series of minor adjustments and significant changes. I tried, failed, learned, and restarted numerous times. Once I added weight training, I observed non-linear growth, but overall steady progress. Over the course of two years, I achieved a healthy weight and have maintained the weight for another two plus years. I notice the (bigger) space I take up and I work on enjoying that space along with the company I keep as much I as can. I use therapeutic movement to keep my body safe so I can continue to lift heavy weights to gain muscle mass, to improve bone density, and to maintain optimal mental health. This practice also keeps me active with dance, hiking, biking and gardening. Doing this "work” of adding intentional movement keeps me more regulated and calm too. I have learned to move into stillness. With greater focus, regulation, and ability to be still, I have entered a more effective state of learning. If I do develop a “pain” or area of interest, I address it quickly. I nip it in the bud. It is a practice. I do slip. But I pratice. I make the practice fun and that helps.
In gratitude
I want to express my gratitude to God; for granting me the strength, direction, and the community that I needed on this journey. I now wear a tattoo representing my faith roots which are still growing as a result of the circumstances in my life. It first marked my arm when I reached and maintained a weight goal. I also appreciate my family's patience as I integrate these elements into my daily life and fitness routines. I am grateful for the trauma-informed and mental health care communities as well as my home gym, Your Life Gym, in Lancaster, PA. My positive engagements and experiences have been resiliency building, giving me a counterbalance to the impact of early life adversities. I am thankful for my students and clients who help to ripple out the goodness that comes from the practice of therapeutic movement and regulation exercises. I have learned from all of my clients and I appreciate their openness to share movement glows and grows with me to assist them in (re) gaining health and well-being through movement. Thank you to the sweetest photographers, Vanessa, of Vanessa Joy Photography and Addie Moran for their talent, in eye and edits, that captured my instruction and my own therapeutic movements.
